Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Clauster Particles


Have you ever sat in a large empty room and felt the weight of the air around you? Have you ever felt like the walls were closing in and you were outside? I have.


I have often wondered if there was a physical explanation for that or was I mentally struggling with something. It almost feels like the small dust particles around me are enjoying their floating moments but once I'm in their range they are doomed to being sucked in by my presence. I can just imagine these little dust particles sitting on my shoulders with their elbows on their knees and their heads in their hands waiting for me to send them on their merry way. It's like they are all waiting together for the permission to take flight. And here I am, feeling itchy and uncomfortable. I'm perpetuating the weight by continually thinking about myself and my problems, therefor sucking more particles in and forgetting that those around me may have their own joys and their own sadness's.


I can just imagine walking to the park with those particles still sitting on my shoulders checking their wrist watches from time to time. I can imagine their disappointment when they look over at the particles around my kids. Those particles are dancing and laughing, so happy to have been in the path of such a happy Ora. They are not stuck on the shoulders of a self-centered Debbi Downer. They are more then happy to stay close to the dirt rolling, Frisbee throwing, jumping, giggling child.



I guess I need to decide what kind of particles I want around me today. Do I want the kind that are sentences to an endless waiting room or the kind that want to be around me laughing and singing with happiness?


1 comment:

  1. It can be very hard at times, to not be the debbie downer, even if I am only being the debbie downer to myself and no one else knows. In my brain, allowing the negative fears overtake me. But it is something I try and do, and I like the visual picture you shared. Know maybe it will be easier, as I picture those little particles around me. I want to be a good host right, so I shall put on a happy face! :)

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