I am afraid of getting hurt! When I was younger, I put a lot into my friendships. I tried to build the friends that I had. I tried to encourage, help, and make them laugh. I ran with them, jumped with them, played with them. And I think they did the same for me. But now I'm older. I have a life of my very own, derived from those traits I used when I was young. But where are my friends? Where are those nights when I cried on my friends shoulders, laughed at my friends jokes and talked endlessly about the wonders of life? Those times when the door to my heart was wide open and I was vulnerable and naive. My heart was untested, unbruised, and unscarred. There were no sharp pains at the thought of a lost friend.
But today, there are sharp pains, bruises, and scars. Today there is a door that is closed, tattered and worn. Why would I open that door today? Why would I expose what has already been exposed? Why would I ask to be bruised where I have already been bruised? What if it is the last hit this heart can take? What if I am not strong enough to handle the next blow? I can keep going down this hopeless path or I can face my fear and see what happens.
I wonder if I can find healing? I wonder if I can find opposition to the pain? I think I can turn the knob for my husband. I can creek the door open for my kids. I can pull the door open for my sisters and my parents. That way I can have the door open for my friends.
I think it is time to face my fear of getting hurt...
Photo by Gabriela Camerotti
this post explains ALOT!!! or you just don't like us. :)
ReplyDeletei hope you recognize how excited we ALWAYS get when you grace us with your presence.
i think everyone has had friends hurt them and i think at times we hurt our friends and hopefully it's never intentional.
i opted out of friendships for 2 years before i moved here and could start fresh. lets not pretend that i haven't had some friendship trials here. i have had to let some go and later bring them back with the understanding that i DON"T DO DIFFICULT FRIENDSHIPS! if it's not easy than i don't want it. life is hard enough and i need my friends to help lighten my load.
just keep coming around WE LOVE IT! and we SO LOVE you!
Opening the door to family, sis n laws :) or friends can be hard, especially if you've been hurt. But you never know what other amazing people are out there that can improve your life until you open up and let them in. I love you!
ReplyDeleteThoughtful and expressive= IMPRESSIVE!
ReplyDelete